My parents tried very hard to teach me to be a good loser. They also emphasized the need to be a good winner, though. We teach about the necessity to serve each other, yet we fail, all too often, to think about how important it is to be a good receiver. I Peter 4:8-11, Rom. 12:3-10, I Cor. 12:14-26, Eph. 4:11,12 and John 13:3-17 emphasize and reemphasize that serving one another is not optional and is, in fact, a measure of our devotion to God (I John 3:17,18; James 2:15,16). But sometimes we try to do for another only to have the offer of help refused. How can we be givers if we have no one to whom we give? We must allow the need to help to translate from theory into action when others are trying to help us, also. Consider it from the other person’s perspective. I am required to be there to help you. If you do not allow me to do that you are keeping me from fulfilling that command. Remember that you are not the only one who benefits from the services rendered.

Prayer is somewhat similar. God does not require that we inform Him of our needs, but our realization of our dependence upon Him is deepened when we pray. Our faith is built up and we learn to trust Him more. We acknowledge the fact that the church is a family, yet a real family is dependent upon each of its members. The love of a wife is strengthened when she serves her husband, just as his is when he returns that considerate service. We grow in our love for each other, not merely by offering to help one another, but by a steadily built up history that testifies to the fact that we are interdependent. This will create an intimacy which will not develop under standoffish conditions.

There is a frequent tendency today toward self-sufficiency. I have noticed it to be more common among those who experienced the Great Depression. The attitude of not wanting to "be a burden to anyone" does seem to be tied to an aversion to feeling indebted to that person. But why? Yes, no one should be known as a lazy good-for-nothing who freeloads on the kindness of others, but don’t we need to become more aware of our own inability to "do it all ourselves?" Is it not, indeed, an immature attitude for my three year old to constantly insist "I do it myself"? Am I actually showing stubborn pride when I do the same? This form of pride not only separates us from each other, but it also separates us from God (I Peter 5:5). If we do not recognize our dependence upon each other, we will likely not recognize our true dependence upon God, either (I John 4:20).

So, the next time someone offers to help you in some way, before your turn them down as a reflex, stop and ask if you actually need the help, and if they may not need to be allowed to serve.

Laurie A. Moyer