The class had gone well. Children rushed to meet their parents with true enthusiasm to tell what they had learned in class that morning. Their teacher had worked hard to develop a couple methods of presentation for this class that were superior in quality and would last in the minds of her students. She emerges from the classroom happy in the knowledge that she has used her talents effectively in this instance and energized to start the next session, when she sees a group of mothers examining her hard work in the hands of the little ones. The mothers are amazed. This is an outstanding piece of work and they know it. After the initial observations one mother noticed the teacher approaching and, with a light laugh, off-handedly says "Don’t you just hate people like that?"

Stop right there. This is not fiction, it is real life. This scenario has been played out in content with variation numerous times in many locations. The first few times I personally heard it I laughed it off, then it began to make me feel uncomfortable. Here is why.

The onlookers in the illustration were jealous of the talented teacher. They voiced their reaction in a commonly accepted joke which deflected their need to deal honestly with their frame of mind. They will say it is only a joke, but even it if was a totally teasing comment, it could still be harmful to the person it is directed toward. Hurtful comments made under the guise of "not being serious" can still do damage. "Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, is the man who deceives his neighbor, and says, ‘I was only joking!’"- Proverbs 26:18,19

The condensed criticism of Cain in 1 John 3:12 was that he hated his brother for being good, while he himself was not. This is jealousy. We deceive ourselves if we do not admit this to be part the motivation for our actions when faced with a situation like the one above. To have that reaction may be natural, but we must work to develop more appreciation and admiration than jealousy. One consequence of not bettering our reactions is that they become an underlying factor of resentment which can effect our future dealings with that talented sister. Another is the unwitting but real discouragement that sister herself can feel.

This is really a reflection of a common reaction in our society toward excellence. We call it "dumbing-down" or being "catty." There was a TV commercial for a hair coloring several years ago which used, as a sub-theme, "Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful." Regardless of the irritation you may feel toward one who feels qualified to make this statement, you know it is an accurate assessment of the minds of many. Women tend to hate beautiful women. This is not uniquely feminine, though, and can be seen in the pressure many intelligent students feel from their mainstream class-mates not to excel. Why? Because if you do not do so well the rest of us will not feel so stupid. Your personal prolonged danger from constantly "grading on a curve" is that you do not have a true and objective estimation of your actual ability. You are doing well only by comparison. There is a spiritual application here.

The Christian who feels good about herself because she is at a commonly acceptable level of spiritual growth or maturity is not using an accurate measuring stick. The good deeds of another should make her feel pressured to do better herself. The desire to feel content with your present state is not a Biblical one, it is born from modern psychology. The Biblical perspective is that, although God accepts your personal best without regard to the abilities of others, your own abilities and efforts should continue to grow and develop (Matthew 25:14-30). Paul did not need to feel satisfied with himself, rather he pressed forward (Philippians 4:12). A little dissatisfaction with yourself may be ultimately more useful to you and the Lord.

Matthew 5:16 tells us to let our good deeds be seen by others, and that that should make them glorify God. One capable of great good should not be made to feel reluctant to do what she can in the work of the Kingdom. Allow her to worry about whether or not she is doing it in order to be seen. The fact that she does the work at all is of greater importance (Philippians 1:15-18). Do not discourage her from the work by making her feel badly for being good at it. Let her do what she can (Mark 14:8).

I know there is a place for humor and am not so straight-laced and serious as to not appreciate a well-meaning tease. But I must ask myself if there is more behind my negative reaction to the good of others than healthy humor. If the whole Body is to be built up by the individual talents of its members (Ephesians 4:16), and not by mediocrity then I must support the use of that talent in every way I can and be equally careful not to hinder it.

Laurie A. Moyer